Stoicism, as a practical philosophy, seeks to help us live balanced and virtuous lives. One of its core principles is moderation: the ability to remain steadfast in our rational nature without falling into excess or deficiency. However, interpretations of Stoicism can sometimes veer toward extremes, whether in the pursuit of absolute control over emotions or a rigid adherence to its precepts. This raises an important question: how to be more moderate in Stoicism?
This essay explores ways to adopt a Stoic attitude that is neither overly strict nor overly relaxed, but rather seeks a healthy and sustainable balance in the practice of this philosophy.
1. Acknowledge the Limits of Control Without Obsessing Over Them
One of the pillars of Stoicism is the dichotomy of control, which teaches us to distinguish between what we can control (our actions, thoughts, and attitudes) and what we cannot (others’ behavior, fate, nature). Misinterpreted, this principle can lead to extreme detachment or emotional coldness.
Moderation in this regard means recognizing the limits of our control without falling into indifference. As Marcus Aurelius said, “Act according to the nature of things.” This means we should engage fully with our responsibilities and relationships while accepting that outcomes are not always in our hands.
For example, in dealing with a workplace conflict, you can make your best effort to resolve it constructively but accept calmly if the outcome is not what you hoped for. Moderation allows us to care deeply while remaining resilient in the face of uncertainty.
2. Practice Virtue Without Rigidity
In Stoicism, virtue is the highest good, consisting of wisdom, justice, courage, and moderation. However, an overemphasis on virtue can sometimes lead to an inflexible focus on “always doing the right thing,” which can become a source of stress and perfectionism.
To be more moderate in the pursuit of virtue, we must allow ourselves to make mistakes and learn from them. Epictetus reminds us that we are apprentices in the art of living. This invites us to adopt a compassionate attitude toward ourselves when we fail, recognizing that perfection is not the goal—progress is.
For instance, if you’re working on becoming more patient with a loved one but lose your temper during a moment of exhaustion, moderation means forgiving yourself, reflecting on what led to the lapse, and resolving to try again.
3. Embrace Emotions Without Becoming Their Slave
Stoicism is often misunderstood as advocating for the suppression of emotions. In truth, it encourages us to manage emotions rationally rather than being controlled by them. Extremes in this practice can lead either to excessive suppression or to dismissing emotions as unimportant.
Moderation involves acknowledging emotions as natural human experiences while striving to respond to them thoughtfully. If you feel anger, for example, instead of suppressing it entirely or letting it dictate your actions, a moderate Stoic approach would involve identifying its cause and addressing it with reason and clarity.
4. Balance Discipline With Flexibility
The Stoic commitment to daily reflection and self-improvement can sometimes lead to rigid routines that prioritize discipline over adaptability. However, life often requires us to adjust our plans and expectations.
Being moderate in Stoic discipline means upholding consistency without becoming inflexible. If your evening routine involves journaling about the day’s events, but an unexpected need arises, moderation allows you to skip it without guilt, knowing that balance over the long term matters more than perfection in the short term.
5. Apply Stoicism Practically, Not Dogmatically
Finally, a moderate Stoic approach involves applying Stoic principles to everyday life in a way that feels practical and meaningful, rather than treating them as unyielding rules. Remember that the goal of Stoicism is to help you live a good life—not to follow a philosophical checklist.
For example, while practicing voluntary discomfort (such as fasting or cold exposure) can strengthen resilience, doing so to an extreme or out of obligation may miss the point. Moderation invites us to align such practices with our personal goals and values.
How to Be More Moderate in Stoicism
To become more moderate in Stoicism is to embrace its teachings with a sense of balance. By recognizing the limits of control, practicing virtue with compassion, managing emotions wisely, balancing discipline with flexibility, and applying Stoicism practically, we can cultivate a philosophy that enhances our lives without imposing unnecessary strain.